Authentic Living
I distinctly remember my first introduction to “living authentically”. I was 14, attending summer camp, and my dean Whendi asked us, “how are you feeling today?” Typically, people responded “good". Afterall, we were attending summer camp, in the woods and away from our parents for a week. She looked around at all of us, and asked us to really consider how we were feeling in that moment - were we feeling sad, missing our parents; anxious, concerned about the unknowns regarding the upcoming events of the week; tired, because we were so excited about the prospect of coming we could barely sleep the night before? As we sat there, considering this, she went on to explain that people generally respond with “good” because they do not want to “burden” others with their personal issues, or because they do not wish to show vulnerability. She explained, it took courage and grace to share our true experience, and to allow others to offer us guidance, support, and encouragement.
Since that day, when someone asks me how I’m feeling, I respond with a genuine answer. If I’m feeling good, then I’ll say that; but if I’m having a rough day, I might share a bit more. And more importantly, when I ask another how they are feeling, and they respond with “good”, I generally follow up with “are you sure; are you really feeling ‘good’?” Living authentically can feel unnatural at first, but with time and practice, it becomes second nature.
Living Authentically
In a world that often pressures us to conform, living authentically can feel like a challenge. Many of us grow up learning to adapt to the expectations of others - family, friends, society - sometimes at the cost of our true selves. But when we suppress who we really are, we may find ourselves feeling disconnected, anxious, or even lost. Authenticity is about embracing our true thoughts, feelings, and values, even when doing so feels uncomfortable.
What Does It Mean to Live Authentically?
Living authentically means aligning your actions with your values and beliefs rather than trying to fit into an image that others expect. It’s about showing up as your true self - without masks, without pretense. It doesn’t mean ignoring social norms or disregarding others’ feelings, but rather making choices that reflect your inner truth.
The Benefits of Living Authentically
When we live authentically, we culticate:
Stronger Self-Esteem and Confidence
When we embrace who we are - flaws, strengths, and all - we develop a sense of self-worth that isn’t dependent on external validation. We learn to trust ourselves and make decisions that align with our values.
Deeper and More Meaningful Relationships
Authenticity fosters genuine connections. When we present our true selves, we attract people who accept and appreciate us for who we are. This creates deeper, more fulfilling relationships based on trust and mutual understanding.
Reduced Stress and Anxiety
Pretending to be someone we’re not is exhausting. It creates internal conflict and anxiety, as we constantly monitor how we present ourselves. Living authentically allows us to let go of this tension and experience greater inner peace.
Greater Resilience in Life’s Challenges
When we are grounded in our authentic selves, we develop a strong foundation for navigating life’s difficulties. We make choices that are true to us, which fosters resilience and helps us handle setbacks with a sense of purpose.
A Deeper Sense of Fulfillment
Living authentically allows us to pursue goals and passions that genuinely align with our values. This leads to a greater sense of purpose and satisfaction in life, rather than feeling like we’re just going through the motions.
How to Cultivate Authenticity
If you’re unsure where to start, consider these steps:
Practice Self-Reflection: Take time to explore your values, beliefs, and desires. Journaling or therapy can help you uncover aspects of yourself that may have been hidden.
Set Boundaries: Authenticity requires honoring your needs. Learn to say no to things that don’t align with your values and yes to what truly matters.
Let Go of Perfectionism: Perfection is an illusion, Embracing your imperfections is part of being authentic and human.
Surround Yourself with Supportive People: Seek relationships that encourage and celebrate your true self rather than those that demand conformity.
Take Small Steps: Authenticity doesn’t require a complete overhaul of your life overnight. Start by making a small choices that reflect your true self and build from there.
Embracing Your True Self
Authenticity is a journey, not a destination. It’s a process of self-discovery and self-acceptance, one that allows us to live with greater freedom, confidence, and joy. If you find yourself struggling with authenticity, therapy can be a powerful tool to help you reconnect with your true self.
If you’re ready to explore what authenticity means to you, I’d love to support you on your journey. Reach out today to being the process of embracing your true self and living a more fulfilling life.